IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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