I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
