Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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