There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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