i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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