A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
