If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize