Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
either way he was missing a nipple.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
