guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
