she was so not down for the gang bang
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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