I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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