What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
this will be a night to untag.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
