Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
so much tequila, so little girl.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
