MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
