just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
