Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
