I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
