Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Randomize
