I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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