who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
