That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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