Who wears a wallet chain?!
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
