Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
