I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
We need to get me chipped asap
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize