dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
