Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
