You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Randomize
