I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize