Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
