i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Why did my mother make you get naked?
is it fun? or sober?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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