Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
two words: eviction party
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
