No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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