and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
