when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
