Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
