I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
pray to the hookup gods
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
