Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
