I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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