there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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