he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just had sex on a roof
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Randomize
