The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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