I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
