I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
