Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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