who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
