I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
did you just send me my own nude
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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