YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
