I'm gonna have a badass scar
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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