I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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