i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
