Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize