i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
The air was thick with penises
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
