So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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