Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Someone shattered a urinal.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
