We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
