I'm so fucking centered right now
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
