the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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