I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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