You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
