He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
